In my quest to banish my ignorance from the blogging setup I have incorporated a new feature of rating posts. Unfortunately, I either didn't see, or they didn't make any hostile response options. Please consider options, "hate it" "amatur" and "wtf" to also be valid replies. Since there isn't a box you'll have to respond manually, which in turn subjects you to my scorching wit. Enter at your own risk.
In other news, I've added Mike as a co-author. In order to tell apart the author of each post I will sign off with a really badass nickname. I don't know what that is yet. I'm debating between: The Lightning Thief, Freeze Train, Sizeable Mango, A, and Rocksteady. Any other suggestions or comments on which is better?
Lastly, anyone who can show me how to incorporate new cool features to the blog such as video linking, photo uploading, and the like will be awarded a prize.
Monday, July 26, 2010
Re: Theory
A couple additions or concerns:
Say you needed 100 hot units to satisfy yourself.
For arguments sake, what if you spent the first half of your day staring at ugliest naked women in the world? Would you still be at 0 hot units on the day, or would you be at -20, -100, maybe -10,000? Would you have to look at enough women to get to 0 and then back up to your required +100 hot units to end the day?
Also, is there a law of conservation of sex drive present? If so, you would need to balance out that +100 hot units sometime in your sleep, ie a compelling argument FOR nocturnal emissions. Or do your accumulated hot units simply radiate out in your sleep in the form of dreams? More on the conservation of hot units: Do women possess an infinite amount of these? I suppose they would have to, if everyone watching the thong song were satisfied.
I also think there should be some model for physical actions, weighted appropriately of course. Say you are physically spent twice in one day. You might spend the rest of the day playing vids or maybe making egg salad, but certainly no more hot units need be gained.
Say you needed 100 hot units to satisfy yourself.
For arguments sake, what if you spent the first half of your day staring at ugliest naked women in the world? Would you still be at 0 hot units on the day, or would you be at -20, -100, maybe -10,000? Would you have to look at enough women to get to 0 and then back up to your required +100 hot units to end the day?
Also, is there a law of conservation of sex drive present? If so, you would need to balance out that +100 hot units sometime in your sleep, ie a compelling argument FOR nocturnal emissions. Or do your accumulated hot units simply radiate out in your sleep in the form of dreams? More on the conservation of hot units: Do women possess an infinite amount of these? I suppose they would have to, if everyone watching the thong song were satisfied.
I also think there should be some model for physical actions, weighted appropriately of course. Say you are physically spent twice in one day. You might spend the rest of the day playing vids or maybe making egg salad, but certainly no more hot units need be gained.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Theory
When I was working at Prairie Life I never really watched much TV. I assumed it was because I was too busy so I never thought much of it. I came to a startling realization now that I'm unemployed, I watch a lot more TV! Ok, maybe startling isn't the right word. But, It's not like I'm enjoying it. TV sucks. In light of that fact, I've developed a new theory; every guy has a preset internal quota for how many attractive women he needs to see during an average day in order to function properly. If I'm living out of a basement and never leave the house, I would estimate that I need to watch several dance music videos (of the 'call on me' variety), one hour of Ochocinco trying to find love, or perhaps one viewing of the Thong Song. But, if I work at a gym where attractive people go all the time then come home and only watch American Dad or Futurama I must have met my quota. The theory is still in its infantile stages but I think i'm onto something.
This theory is great because it has multiple outlets. For example, I'm getting ready to go workout at my old high school after spending most of the day reading at home. If I don't flip to Coyote Ugly (on tonight at 8) or some other scandalous show then clearly my quota of seeing attractive women has been satisfied.....which would mean that I find high school women attractive. Ok this theory isn't without it's problems. But name one that is.
This theory is great because it has multiple outlets. For example, I'm getting ready to go workout at my old high school after spending most of the day reading at home. If I don't flip to Coyote Ugly (on tonight at 8) or some other scandalous show then clearly my quota of seeing attractive women has been satisfied.....which would mean that I find high school women attractive. Ok this theory isn't without it's problems. But name one that is.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
National Pastime
Last weekend I once again relished in the dominance of a WWE wrestler turned legit. Not only was it awesome to see an entire bar root against one guy and then have that guy win, but it also gave me another pillar in support of my nascent hypothesis that if you are generally unpleasant to be around, you likely own a Tapout or Affliction T-shirt. They really need to get those shirts under control. Anyone who has at least 1 victory in mixed martial arts can wear them. Everyone else needs to take a couple deep breaths and come to terms with the fact that they're not a badass.
In celebration of Lesnar's inspiring victory I went to a small gathering where I encountered a hostile (possible Tapout shirt owning) youth who was vehemently hating on the much loved and potentially greatest beer drinking game of all time....flip cup. His point was, girls play the game. Thus deducing that if one were to play the game, they must be a girl. Now, I'm not disputing that girls play the game. In fact, that same piece of evidence is proof that guys play the game. Where is one place guys are looking to be if they're drinking...where girls are. And that was it, that was basically the argument. Try and imagine that same discussion taking place over 15 minutes, but littered with slanderous comments and raised voices. At the time, I thought using his same evidence against him was the key to victory (you should be proud Mike). I didn't even delve into the many other virtues flip cup has to offer including: best combination of beer skill and RL skill, capable of involving unlimited participants, and an undisputed weak link every game upon which frustration may be vented. I defy anyone to name a better game.
The best player I've seen to date is a Russian residing in Chicago. Talent is only 10% of a successful flip cup player though. The other 90% is all heart.
In celebration of Lesnar's inspiring victory I went to a small gathering where I encountered a hostile (possible Tapout shirt owning) youth who was vehemently hating on the much loved and potentially greatest beer drinking game of all time....flip cup. His point was, girls play the game. Thus deducing that if one were to play the game, they must be a girl. Now, I'm not disputing that girls play the game. In fact, that same piece of evidence is proof that guys play the game. Where is one place guys are looking to be if they're drinking...where girls are. And that was it, that was basically the argument. Try and imagine that same discussion taking place over 15 minutes, but littered with slanderous comments and raised voices. At the time, I thought using his same evidence against him was the key to victory (you should be proud Mike). I didn't even delve into the many other virtues flip cup has to offer including: best combination of beer skill and RL skill, capable of involving unlimited participants, and an undisputed weak link every game upon which frustration may be vented. I defy anyone to name a better game.
The best player I've seen to date is a Russian residing in Chicago. Talent is only 10% of a successful flip cup player though. The other 90% is all heart.
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