I stopped to wash my hands in the locker room today and I casually glanced to my left to acknowledge the dude standing there. He seemed like a normal enough guy at first glance: shaving cream on his face, white t-shirt, inconspicuous hair. Something seemed off though. When I turned to leave I finally saw it. And yes I mean 'it. Below the 'mason dixon' line was nothing except socks. Who goes for a shave with a t-shirt, no pants, and socks? My mouth formed was forming this very question before my feet wisely took over; I exited without an encounter.
A week or so ago I saw a guy in a similar situation who was completely naked and simply rubbing his chest up and down without even a pretense of normal grooming. It occurred to me then that we need two locker rooms for men: one for people who like being naked, and the other for people who simply see it as one step towards getting clean. My uneasiness around hairy, naked, fat men has caused me to refine my locker room routine to the point where the CIA would be impressed with my efficiency.
I'm wondering if some sort of analysis can be gleaned from these observations. Should I be tapering my programs towards acquiring extra girth around the mid section so men have more of themselves to rub? I'd say the answer lies just beneath the surface but if that's the answer...I think i'm asking the wrong question.
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When I wrestled in high school, we did weigh-ins... it was usually about 35 dudes in a room who were all in briefs (or less) waiting to step on a scale.
ReplyDeleteAfter a while, I got so desensitized to it that I could've walked into a room of naked men and been like "Hey, dudes, where's the water fountain?"
But I still made it my personal mission to strip, weigh, and re-clothe myself in 2 minutes or less. Not because of unease, but because those stupid wrestlers took forever.