I've decided I need to submit picture to one of those extreme makeover shows.
A few days back I saw someone come into the gym to workout that I met about a month ago. As I remember it, we had a jovial conversation, we talked about her recent moves, exercise, whatever. She had a really attractive face, but was at least 35 and had a reason to be at the gym, if you know what I mean. I was in my workout clothes so no work uniform. I see her, and hop on the elliptical next to her to say hi. The conversation went something like this
Me: "hey"
* no response *
Me: *tap arm* "how's it going"
Girl turns to look at me: "oh, hey"
Girl turns back to tv
Me: "glad to see you back at the gym, it's been awhile"
* no response*
Me: "do you remember who I am?"
* again, no response and I now detect that she is not actually watching tv, she is staring straight ahead with the intensity of a women who just noticed a Macy's 50% off sign*
Needless to say this threw me. What could possibly be going through her mind at this point. Does she think i'm a T-rex? I can see her. Does she truly believe she is hot enough that I am hitting on her? Again....I can still see her. It's 2:00 PM on a sunday. TV quality is conspicuously absent. I am completely confounded. I actually considered getting my prairie life uniform and approaching her again just to test my theory. Then I realized this was not a winning scenario either way. If she did recognize me then that means i look like some sort of rapist/killer/whatever. If she didn't she would probably call the manager and I'd have to do some bull shit sexual harassment training. Last thing I'll mention...the day this happened was Easter; the day Jesus awoke from his 200 year slumber to battle Mephistopheles with nothing but his horse Warbringer and a 30lb morningstar. It's been awhile since I read the bible but I think my point stands.
So, i'm open to suggestions. Chase, I think you won best dressed in high school. What's the deal here.
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My only suggestion is to try working-out in a pair of khakis, an argyle sweater vest, and brown penny loafers. The risk here is that you might then be too non-threatening- you could attract the likes of Tracy Mock, Sarah Sinovic, Shelia Schutes, etc. Its a difficult balance between being labeled as a rapist and potentially getting raped. Life is a bitch. Good luck!
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I was there, that was not how the conversation went. "Glad to see you back at the Gym..." You went on. "I am always looking for you and am disappointed in you whenever I don't see you. In fact I stay here after my shift and just wait. I just sit and wait to see if you come. If you'll notice I am not in uniform. Today is my day off. It's Easter, normally we aren't even open, but I had them keep it open in case you showed up." I still can't believe she didn't talk to you.
ReplyDeleteI can see that last sentence being in a fortune cookie chase. well played.
ReplyDeleteHey man, you talked to this one and she didn't slap you across the face haymaker style leaving a scorched red hand print and that vein in your forehead pulsing.....I would say you talking and them simply ignoring is a step in the right direction.
ReplyDeleteBy the time they are 35 I think it is safe to stop calling them "girls", boy. Unless, of course, "girl" is accompanied by the word "Dayom".
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