A Stranger in a Strange Land

After spending two months living with two members of the female species I have made several observations which I'm sure can be generalized to every women...ever:

1.I can tell you exactly what time they got out of bed every day that I've spent the night here (despite the fact that I live in the basement)
2.They love making lots of food and eating a small amount of it, in effect, leaving the freezer and fridge near max capacity at all times
3.They possess an intense affection for small dogs both of which (the affection and dog) annoy the bejesus out of me
4.They are very linear thinkers. Whatever the current problem is, it has the same relevance as an asteroid about to hit Earth.
5.Their obsession with men far surpasses men's obsession with women. The difference is probably in the fact that their obsession is multifaceted, contrasted to men's very singular obsession.


I feel akin to Jane Goodall; if I could replace apes with humans. I'm essentially living with a married couple and a less clearly defined couple that has the scent of something you would see on the “Jersey Shore.” Unfortunately, I have yet to see any guys with the same disposition as “The Situation.” Yet, the wine does flow like water, there is still hope.